Tangled Minds Excerpt


                            Prologue

 

 

   As the prison door quietly closed behind him with a soft

whoosh, Josh thought to himself that he had finally come

full circle. He was in the very same place his father had

been all those many years ago and he knew he would be here for a very long time. He hadn’t listened when they told him had control of his life, even if he had a disability. He had always blamed others for his actions, complaining that he never got a break in life. He used the excuse that everyone was against him and everything that happened to him was someone else’s fault.

   These thoughts ran thru his mind as he surveyed his new surroundings as even now he tried to blame his partners for being in this prison cell. He tried to say that they were the ones who screwed up causing him to be convicted. Josh couldn’t find it in him to place the blame where it really belonged. It belonged with him.

  This was now his home. As Josh looked around he saw the

remains of others who had been here before him, the graffiti of lewd drawings and comments about women they had known or wanted to know. He saw the iron bunk-bed attached to the wall with the paper thin mattress, the single flat pillow, the single sheet, and the prison gray issued blanket. He saw the windowless 6×9 space that held no privacy. The toilet was the focal point of the cell, like an obscene piece of art work. It sat in the middle of the far wall so when he had to relieve himself he was in full view of the guards and other inmates. The sink was stainless steel with no personality. Next to the toilet there was a small desk attached to the wall with a chair slid under it, opposite the bed.

  As Josh surveyed his new surroundings, he began the journey

again in his mind. It was a journey of how he wound up in this

place and why. Josh had been moved to his new home away from

home in the middle of the night. He had been sleeping in the county jail awaiting transport when the guards had rudely awakened him and told him he was traveling. Josh knew it was going to happen, he just didn’t know when. This had always been a part of his life.

  He never knew when he would be awakened in the middle of the

night, as a child, to be placed in a car and moved to a new environment.

First it was with his teenage mother as she moved from place

to place always one step ahead of the law and family and children services. Then it was with his mother and his real dad after he was released from yet another stint in prison for one crime or another.

Josh never remembered being in a place for more than a few months and most of the time it was a place shared with people his parents knew. He never lived one place long enough to make the right kind of friends or stay in school long enough to get a decent education.

  As Josh took a trip down memory lane, he saw the images of

his past; present and future begin to blend in one tangled mass of prison gray nothingness. As his visions of his mother and dad lost focus, his vision of the prison gray walls came back into view. Josh knew he had fulfilled the prophecy of his birth: he was in prison for the next 10 years. His crime was one of stupidity mixed with the lack of not being able to say no. He had been part of a loose gang of misfits whose idea of a good time on a Saturday night was to break into the disabled man’s house. The man was the uncle of one of Josh’s friends who Josh had met while living in Alabama. The idea was to just scare him and steal his money and anything else of value.

However, that idea took on a life of its own when the man tried to fight back.

  Now Josh was here and his friends were someplace else. Josh

was serving time for being an accomplice to robbery and murder,

all because he did not have the right stuff to say no and to protect the innocent. So, now at what should have been the beginning of his journey as a productive member of society, Josh at 17 years old was now a convicted felon and a non-productive member of society.

He had lost his identity. He had become a number and a statistic.

Joshua Ruben VanPelt ID # K-13798, inmate at Hardwick Prison in Hardwick, Ga.

 

 

 

 

 

tangled minds

                            Prologue

 

 

   As the prison door quietly closed behind him with a soft

whoosh, Josh thought to himself that he had finally come

full circle. He was in the very same place his father had

been all those many years ago and he knew he would be here for a very long time. He hadn’t listened when they told him had control of his life, even if he had a disability. He had always blamed others for his actions, complaining that he never got a break in life. He used the excuse that everyone was against him and everything that happened to him was someone else’s fault.

   These thoughts ran thru his mind as he surveyed his new surroundings as even now he tried to blame his partners for being in this prison cell. He tried to say that they were the ones who screwed up causing him to be convicted. Josh couldn’t find it in him to place the blame where it really belonged. It belonged with him.

  This was now his home. As Josh looked around he saw the remains of others who had been here before him, the graffiti of lewd drawings and comments about women they had known or wanted to know. He saw the iron bunk-bed attached to the wall with the paper thin mattress, the single flat pillow, the single sheet, and the prison gray issued blanket. He saw the windowless 6×9 space that held no privacy. The toilet was the focal point of the cell, like an obscene piece of art work. It sat in the middle of the far wall so when he had to relieve himself he was in full view of the guards and other inmates. The sink was stainless steel with no personality. Next to the toilet there was a small desk attached to the wall with a chair slid under it, opposite the bed.

  As Josh surveyed his new surroundings, he began the journey again in his mind. It was a journey of how he wound up in this place and why. Josh had been moved to his new home away from home in the middle of the night. He had been sleeping in the county jail awaiting transport when the guards had rudely awakened him and told him he was traveling. Josh knew it was going to happen, he just didn’t know when. This had always been a part of his life.

  He never knew when he would be awakened in the middle of the night, as a child, to be placed in a car and moved to a new environment. First it was with his teenage mother as she moved from place to place always one step ahead of the law and family and children services. Then it was with his mother and his real dad after he was released from yet another stint in prison for one crime or another.

Josh never remembered being in a place for more than a few months and most of the time it was a place shared with people his parents knew. He never lived one place long enough to make the right kind of friends or stay in school long enough to get a decent education.

  As Josh took a trip down memory lane, he saw the images of his past; present and future begin to blend in one tangled mass of prison gray nothingness. As his visions of his mother and dad lost focus, his vision of the prison gray walls came back into view. Josh knew he had fulfilled the prophecy of his birth: he was in prison for the next 10 years. His crime was one of stupidity mixed with the lack of not being able to say no. He had been part of a loose gang of misfits whose idea of a good time on a Saturday night was to break into the disabled man’s house. The man was the uncle of one of Josh’s friends who Josh had met while living in Alabama. The idea was to just scare him and steal his money and anything else of value.

However, that idea took on a life of its own when the man tried to fight back.

  Now Josh was here and his friends were someplace else. Josh was serving time for being an accomplice to robbery and murder, all because he did not have the right stuff to say no and to protect the innocent. So, now at what should have been the beginning of his journey as a productive member of society, Josh at 17 years old was now a convicted felon and a non-productive member of society.

He had lost his identity. He had become a number and a statistic.

Joshua Ruben VanPelt ID # K-13798, inmate at Hardwick Prison in Hardwick, Ga.

1 Comment

  1. فارس said,

    thanks

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