My Honor to be His
The more I see in this life of mine
The more I see that nothing is mine
The more I see in this life I live
The more I see how much I can give
My life is honored by who owns the glory
My life is owned by who writes the story
I go where I’m sent; I go where I’m led
I want only to say what He wants said
I really try to do everything I should
It hurts me inside to not even do the things I could
My life feels, and is, sometimes out of control
It is so very hard to always be so very bold
What honor I give Him through my life every day
It is an honor to give it every way
He honors me with love and His forgiveness is mine
But the honor and the privilege to serve Him is all mine
It is through this service that my life has meaning
It is on this honor my salvation is leaning
My price has been paid by His life laid down
I will do the things I should without a single frown
Jerry M. White wrote this poem in 2004 and it has to be one of my favorites. In so few words he really says it all.
Until Today isn’t your typical book of poems. Jerry White starts each poem(s) off with a little story explaining not only what they are about but what prompted him to write them. He takes us through his spiritual world with poems like the one above. We go through his family world with poems such as Audacity. This is the story of his grandmother being rescued from a mental hospital. His poem What Have We Done (another one of my favorites) brings to light what has been lost with the changes of time. He walks us through the loss of his grandchildren to cancer and the true meaning of family through Grandma’s Apron. He takes us on through life in the world of work with poems such as Light the Fuse and then through memories with The Last Day of School. And to tie it all up he gives us the world of the Living and the Dead as he points out the problems in Nameless Numbers and concludes with Pillaged which leaves no doubt that our government is breaking.
I’ve read and written reviews for Author Jerry M. White before and have to say that with each he gets better and better. Seldom do I read one that doesn’t hit a cord from my own life and own feelings. I thoroughly enjoy his works of art.
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In the 1960’s the typical family consisted of a stay-at-home mother, a working father, and some kids. As you grew up you were exposed to an equal amount of boy things and girl things. In my world that never happened. We three kids were raised by a divorced mother and her side of the family. For reasons I did not know, my father deserted the family when I turned eight. He was also on his own journey of self-discovery; it just took him longer than the average man to realize it. He left us kids with a mother who had no skills and no money. Mom could have just given up and slipped into a world of denial. Instead, she decided to learn a trade, get a job, and she tried to give the three of us a decent childhood. In my eight-year-old eyes, she was a hero. Especially between the ages of eight and fifteen my mom was my voice of reason. I idolized her, I respected her, and I hoped to one day marry someone just like her. Between her and her side of the family we were taken care of, loved, and given the nurturing we needed to hopefully become normal, productive adults. And yet my life took a bad turn after my dad left us.
After his father left, Phil stepped into a state of depression spending most his time alone and in his room. The only person he allowed to bring him out of his shell was his great grandmother whom he called Nana. When she died, Phil stepped even deeper into himself. He became angry with God but also thought that perhaps God was punishing him for some unknown reason. His Nana had taught him many lessons during their time together but the one that started his journey into life was when she told him ‘you will meet many people throughout your life and if you want them to remember you, you must always be a little different, you must be sincere, and you must make them feel special, especially the girls.’ This lesson became the beginning of many more that Phil would start adding to his list.
Through these lessons and the people who taught him, Phil took on three distinct lives. He became Disco Phil who gave the girls whatever they wanted. At the Burger Shack he became a leader who listened to and offered advice to the girls who needed it. And at school he was just another face in the crowd. But what will happen if either of these lives come together? Phil is not only a good listener that makes the girls feel special but he is also a good learner with some of the girls being the teachers.
Back in the 1960/70s one in every ten teenagers were affected by divorce. Most keep their feelings and pain to themselves and release it through drugs, alcohol and sometimes even sex. As I read Misguided Sensitivity I was able to see how many of the girls took the route of sex as their way of forgetting and feeling as if someone did care and love them. I believe most boys turned more to alcohol and drugs. Phil was one of the sensitive kids who released his anger through compassion, attention and understanding for others. It takes him from the back rows of the drive-ins to the motel rooms of older women. Is he really hurting anyone? Is he really helping them? Is he being used by those he tries to help? Or is he just hurting himself? These are the questions that jump around in your mind as you read Misguided Sensitivity.
In my opinion, Misguided Sensitivity is a book that should be read by all young men and even a few women.
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