“Men, the company is faced with a crisis; a serious threat to the well-being of every employee and every employee’s family. But before I reveal the nature of this crisis, I must remind you that this is a top secret matter; a matter of the utmost delicacy, which, if ever made public, could besmirch the good name and future of the company.” “Men,” he boomed again, “at some unascertained time in the recent past, someone in this building became infested with a certain species of body louse, more commonly known as … crabs!” “Men, I assume this happened because some individual – presumably one of the company’s employees – although I find it difficult to believe – became infested. I also haven’t discounted the possibility that some subversive elements in our society, possibly in cahoots with the Soviet Union, are responsible, in order to demean and discredit our democracy and our free enterprise system. It seems a strange coincidence – very strange – that this crisis should befall us, just at a time when the Soviets have launched the first missile to reach the moon.” “Either way, this thing is catching and very prolific…. This morning, after visual reconnaissance, I would estimate that perhaps twenty-five percent of our five thousand, eight hundred and thirty-five employees are casualties, and it could jump much higher in the next few days.”
To quote an old saying from a TV show… “Did I Do That?” In the past 10 years Walter Mott has lived secretly in his office, had an ongoing friendship with a woman named Stormy, who actually started this 6 legged infestation allowing him to infest hundreds of his coworkers, infested the money he has saved by not having to pay rent and utilities and ended up acquiring himself a small fortune. Oh yeah, he has also met a young lady named Scarlett, named after the character in Gone With the Wind.
The Secret Life of Walter Mott is set in the fifties, while Eisenhower is president and Castro is still just a young Cuban rebel leader. Drive-ins are a thing of the day, or should I say night, and the biggest fantasy in life is to work hard so that one day you can retire. But Walter Mott has decided to speed this process up and retire at 40. To take his fortune and see the world. To never have to work another day for the “man” but enjoy life while he’s still young. But as with all plans, there are pitfalls. Walter’s biggest will come when he meets Scarlett.
While reading The Secret Life of Walter Mott I found myself laughing so hard at times that I actually had tears in my eyes. Kal Wagenheim has written a very imaginative, humorous book that I simply loved.
All Things That Matter Press
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